Back to The Music 英文詩歌推介【Incision】— 英雄莫望背後

 

「到底為何，中國的英雄電影，總是特寫英雄的背影呢？因為，他們為了大義，棄掉了個人情感。轉身，是要隱藏臉上的憂傷。」

Back To The Music 於2021月8月15日 Facebook 專頁已發佈的新歌【Incision】，唱者兼填詞人Aidan藉這首歌描寫他的爸爸當日，與過去的恩師分裂時，承受著無比沉重的情感。相信這首歌能鼓勵大家，效法他的爸爸如英雄一樣，不論多艱難的決定，也要憑良心，選擇天國道。

【Incision】

Song Lyrics

A1:
Like a crimson wound cruelly opened
Every leaf a razor edge,
Severing our ties
The winding road before me
Incisions on my skin,
Am I to play the fool forever?
有如殘酷赤紅的傷口
片片秋葉如鋒刃
割絕彼此聯繫
蜿蜒小路在前頭
皮膚上的切口
我可要永遠裝傻扮丑？
B1:
Our every single interaction
Deepening the indecision
30 years or somewhere down the line
Will I regret what I’ve chosen
昔日每次交流
加深猶豫保留
從此計起三十年後
我會否為抉擇後悔歉疚
C1:
Don’t look back
Like warriors of lore
Bury in your desire to shout
Leave before you let it out
決不回頭
猶如傳說中的勇者
埋藏呼喊的渴求
告別後才說出口

Turn your back
It’s noble at the core
No matter the time, no matter the place
Seasons change, our bond remains
轉身就走
為崇高目標奮鬥
不分時候 不分地點
季節更替 羈絆依舊
A2:
Crimson colors fading in the night
Looking every now and then,
the pain is here to stay
赤紅傷口夜間消退
時不時回首
痛苦一直在停留

I was to you a stranger
Yet not a word was said
You sheltered me and clothed my back
我之於你曾是陌生人
但你毫不詳究
蔭庇暖衣 給我護守
B2:
Our every little conversation
Begs another explanation
Am I lying to myself, to you?
If you were here, what would you do?
昔日每次閒聊
今天得解釋緣由
對己對你 我在撒謊麼？
若你在這裏 會做甚麼？
C2:
Don’t look back
Your story will be told
Who are you
Nobody will know
Only you can solve the riddle
決不回頭
你的故事將被傳授
你是誰 無人識透
獨你能把謎語解構

Turn your back
Cause that’s what heroes do
Regardless of where you’re from
Where you’re born
You do what’s right
Though you’re all alone
轉身就走
因英雄如此作為
莫問出處 莫問出生
做正確事情
儘管獨你孤身持守
C3:
Take your stand
The future will unfold
Not another can walk in your shoes
Fear of going down in ruins
選定立場
未來將展開顯露
無人能代替你行走
旁人擔憂一無所有

Make your stand
So all the world will know
A thousand or more may fall at your side
But still, you stand, taller than before
表明立場
讓全世界都識透
千人或仆倒在你左右
但你仍站穩 更挺身昂首
C4:
Take your stand
The future will unfold
Not another can walk in your shoes
Fear of going down in ruins
選定立場
未來將展開顯露
無人能代替你行走
旁人擔憂一無所有

Make your stand
So all the world will know
A thousand or more may fall at your side
But still, you stand, taller than before
表明立場
讓全世界都識透
千人或仆倒在你左右
但你仍站穩 更挺身昂首
LP：
A thousand or more may fall at your side
But still, you stand, taller than before
千人或仆倒在你左右
但你仍站穩 更挺身昂首

Aidan的分享
【Incision】意境演繹

這首歌，是講述一個英雄的故事，一位英雄的成長，總是伴隨無數的傷痛與無奈。但作為一個主角，當他經過一個又一個，為大義而犧牲，偉大又善良的決定和選擇後，最終，卻成就了一個令所有人動容，不由自主站起鼓掌的英雄傳說。

A1:
爸爸在信仰起始時，很快遭家人逼迫，要離開熟悉的香港，獨自飛往加拿大留學，當時，他遇到加拿大喜信會的牧師 Gideon。Gideon 是一個怎樣的人呢？他是一個很好、很友善的人，然而，這亦成了他信仰的致命弱點，在信仰上容易遷就和妥協。在爸爸與 Gideon 的信仰產生分歧前，爸爸一直很信賴 Gideon，甚至，爸爸躺在醫院病床時，異地裡，亦全賴 Gideon 照料他，為他帶來許多神蹟醫治的書。

在於爸爸，是一個非常重感情、念恩的人，他與 Gideon 當時的情誼，只能以我和爸爸現時的關係來對比。若果問我，假如現時要與爸爸分裂，獨自離巢遠飛，我會是怎樣的感受呢？我頓時就明白了，爸爸當時的感受，爸爸心裡再不捨，但為了持守信仰、分別為聖，為了許多仍跟隨他的弟兄姊妹，他只能決定離開母會。

開始時，爸爸決定與 Gideon 分裂，這已是一個深深的創傷，但當事情不斷惡化，Gideon 於聯合聚會中，不斷向人妥協真理，容許很多不道德的事情發生在台上。甚至，在「雙氧水事件」中，Gideon 既沒有了解整件事，也不相信爸爸的解釋，已決定與爸爸站對立面，令爸爸的創傷不斷被撕裂、擴大。來自母會與 Gideon 一次又一次的傷害，就如樹上飄下來的紅葉，不斷落在爸爸的身上、落在他的心裡，劃下一道又一道傷痕。

當時，爸爸面對著許多的不確定，不知道前路如何、不知道自己是否正確，更不知道，多年後回望時，與自己母會，甚至與當中多位恩人一刀兩斷，會否是一個愚蠢的決定？使自己成為輸家呢？我和爸爸的性格十分相似，我知道在這種情況下，爸爸必定會想得很多、很多，掙扎於人際關係的死結，在無能為力下，感到深深的無奈和無助，甚至輾轉難眠。

B1:
爸爸與 Gideon 之間，有過許多互動、受過他不少恩情，每一個快樂回憶，都令他更質疑自己的選擇是否正確。假如30年後，在一段絕不算短的時間裡，許多功過已有定論，那時，自己會否發現原來做錯了，後悔當天的決定呢？

C1:
一般而言，無論在甚麼情況下，我們都絕不會背棄朋友，尤其，那朋友對你有恩，而他亦需要你的幫助。但這一次，神卻要求爸爸，為著屬天的大義，忍痛放下人的義，放棄人倫之間極為看重的友誼與恩情，獨自承擔別人的不諒解和指責。無論爸爸身邊，多少弟兄姊妹最終選擇離棄神，但爸爸亦不會因任何人而於信仰上妥協。就如所有英雄，他們無一例外，都會為了成就大義，放下自己最珍惜的一切，甚至是心底裡最難以割捨的情感。

爸爸卻選擇為了神，默默埋藏自己一切的無奈與傷感，努力振作自己，並全心全意跟從神。唯有在獨自一人的時候，才能將自己的情緒向神赤露敞開、盡情傾訴，將自己的重擔交給神。到了今時今日，當爸爸回顧自己與 Gideon 的關係，爸爸仍是開心和感激的，但是，因為爸爸仍要繼續跟從神，而 Gideon 卻背道而馳，所以，爸爸也只能忍痛割捨，絕對沒有任何事情，能夠高於他與神之間的關係。

A2:
傷口總會癒合，但結痂後的疤痕卻永久存留，每每回想，都勾起爸爸當時決定分裂的痛楚與無奈，這種情況，直至2015年，神開始毫無保留地印證爸爸的身份前，仍是一直持有。因為，當年爸爸於屬靈上仍很幼嫩，有很大的成長和學習空間，但 Gideon 沒有著眼爸爸的不足，反而十分樂意地幫助他，這份恩情，爸爸永遠都銘記於心。

B2:
每每爸爸回憶，自己與 Gideon 之間的無數相處片段，都令他更加困惑決定分裂是否正確，也會想像，若果今時今日有機會與 Gideon 再次相對，自己又能否再次解釋，與他和解呢？因爸爸實在很珍惜 Gideon。

C2:
作為一個牧師的兒子，令我更明白故事主角的處境，他們無法問身邊人︰「你能告訴我，我是誰嗎？」因為他們的角色、特性和定命，都極其特別，他根本無法依賴身邊人為他解答。爸爸這真命天子的身份，根本沒有藍本可參考；同樣，我作為小獅子的領袖，亦沒有藍本可效法。沒有所謂的「照抄」，抄別人的答案，當這間教會是新婦的身份，我們需要靠自己的努力，憑信心和良心完成一份A++的試卷，再讓世人跟著我們的答案抄寫。

我本身擁有一個很大的呼召，甚至，在我拍攝《Reality Check》前，我根本不知道自己的未來，有多大的呼召和使命，然而，我如何慢慢成長進入呢？我正是憑良心而行，按爸爸及屬靈長輩的提醒，以感言回應《栽在溪水旁》，珍惜每篇信息，建立一個寫感言回應的習慣，甚至建立自己的團隊，幫我學習中文，期盼未來，自己能以中文與別人分享和溝通。這過程，我是按著良心、盡自己的本份，善用我身邊的資源，幫助我完成一個又一個目標，發展出自己的事奉。

爸爸亦一樣，假如當時爸爸並沒有聽從良心的聲音︰「你要與 Gideon 分別，跟從神的帶領。」其實，他絕對無法走到今時今日，所以，一個真正的英雄故事，其實從來沒有一個方程式或模式讓你抄襲。爸爸卻教導我們，如果，我們看自己是英雄，我們自然就會時常憑良心作出檢討，作出一個又一個正確選擇。想像天上，有天使和見證人一直注視著我們，在他們眼中，也認同我們是配得神的祝福，配得成為真命天子的一份子。因此，爸爸作為他自己人生中，唯一的主角，為何他一定要離開、一定要經歷眾多痛楚呢？因為，每一個遭遇裡，都要考驗他能否作出正確選擇，如此，他才能一步步，在沒有藍本下，踏進自己的呼召。

真正的英雄人物，從來不是靠旁人的提點，沒有人知道你內心是如何選擇，唯一知道的，只有你自己和神，亦只有神能夠引導你進入這呼召。即使你獨自一人，沒有人在旁看著你，但你自己，會否知道主耶穌一直在你身邊，看著你作出每一個選擇，從而令你每一個選擇，都是對得起神、對得起主耶穌呢？爸爸正是如此，自信主後的第一天，他每一個選擇，已是絕對對得起神，這才是一個配得成為主角的特質，亦是我們每一位都應該學習的榜樣。

C3&C4:
爸爸面對著「雙氧水事件」、眾人的質疑，他仍舊在神面前持守信仰、分別為聖，於是，他能一步步見證神給予他的認可，印證他的屬靈成長之旅、印證他所建立的錫安教會。爸爸常常會問，為何回港後，他發現自己如此與眾不同，正因為他所付出的代價，是香港沒有任何一位牧師，願意付上同等的代價，全力跟從神。有些人輕易就會被金錢吸引，變成巴蘭；有些人則輕易被個人榮譽吸引，自以為是使徒、先知。

但爸爸從來不在乎這些，在事奉神的過程中，即使經濟極度缺乏，夫妻二人只能分吃一碗牛腩麵，但他仍然不斷想盡辦法付出、免費送講道帶，祝福身邊有需要的人。沒有人願意跟爸爸走同一條路，因那代價實在是太大了，他們會為自己留後路，因為他們恐懼失去地上的保障、恐懼過朝不保夕的日子，害怕自己辛苦建立的一切會倒下。但爸爸自信主的第一天起，已立定心志，他完全不介意為神付出性命，他樂意向這一位真神獻出性命。

LP：
只要我們的動機是為了榮耀神，即使面對別人的攻擊與折磨，我們仍然堅持站穩，一切也是絕對值得的。因為，所謂的闊路，結局只是地獄和審判，人生也只是一個悲劇。但信仰上的窄路，表面上是絕望、痛苦，比人行得更慢，就如當初，爸爸所建立的錫安，無論神蹟、系統，一切一切都遠超香港其他教會，但是，為何教會的人數增長仍是那麼緩慢呢？甚至，錫安的名聲更越來越差呢？

原來，一切也是神的安排，只為試煉我們的性格，看我們是否願意持著正確的動機，繼續分享神的信息、繼續跟從神，當我們明白這一點，我們就會知道這條路是絕對值得堅持走下去。正因為，爸爸願意走這條艱辛的窄路，甘願為神放下人生中最大的恩人，與之分裂，最終，神悅納了這一個英雄故事，成為千禧年所有人，必須花盡一生效法的典範。

This is a song about a hero’s story. The growth of a hero is always accompanied by countless sorrow and helplessness. As a protagonist, he must go through one sacrifice after another for the sake of righteousness. After making great and kind decisions, he will achieve a legend that moves everyone and makes them stand up to applause.

A1:
At the beginning of his faith, my father was soon forced to leave his hometown, Hong Kong, and fly to Canada to study overseas alone. At that time, he met Gideon, a pastor of the Glad Tidings Church. What kind of person was Gideon? He was an amiable man. However, this was also the fatal weakness of his faith. He accommodates bad guys and compromises easily in his faith. Before Dad and Gideon’s beliefs diverged, Dad had always believed in him. Even at the time when Dad was lying on the hospital bed , he relied on Gideon. Gideon took care of him and brought him many miracle healing books.

My Dad was a very affectionate and grateful man. The relationship between him and Gideon at that time was like the relationship I have with my father now. How would I feel if I were to split up with my Dad and fly away from the nest alone? I immediately understood how my father felt at that time. My father was not willing to go. But for the sake of keeping his faith and dedication to God, he could only leave his mother church.mThe split from his mother church caused deep hurt in my Dad. But things deteriorated even further. Gideon kept compromising the truth by allowing immoral behaviour to happen on stage at the joint Christian service.

Even in the “Hydrogen Peroxide Incident”, Gideon neither understood the big picture nor believed my Dad’s explanation. He decided to stand against my father. This hurt my Dad even more. Dad suffered from stabbing pain over and over again due to the mother church and Gideon. It was like the autumn leaves falling from the trees. The leaves’ sharp edges kept cutting my Dad’s body and heart, marking one wound after another.

At that time, Dad was facing a lot of uncertainty. He didn’t know what was ahead of him and whether he was right or not. At that moment, he didn’t know if it would be a foolish decision to split with the mother church? Would it make him a loser? Dad and I are very similar in character. I know that he would have thought a lot in such a situation and struggled in the deadlock of human relationships. Feeling so helpless and hopeless, he tossed and turned in bed and had trouble sleeping.

B1:
There are many memorable interactions between Dad and Gideon. Dad also received a lot of favours from Gideon. Every happy memory made Dad question whether he did make the right choice. We don’t need a long time to determine right from wrong. What if, 30 years later, he realized that he had made a mistake? What if he regretted it later?

C1:
Generally speaking, no matter what the circumstances are, we would never turn our back on a friend. In particular, when that friend is kind to you, and he needs your help. But this time, God asked Dad to put human righteousness over heavenly righteousness. It was achieved by giving up the friendship and kindness and splitting with Gideon. As a result, Dad had to bear alone the unforgiveness and reproach by others.

Thousands of brothers and sisters may have come by, but many of them eventually chose to forsake God and leave Dad. Yet, Dad will never compromise his faith because of anyone. All heroes, with no exception, would give up everything they cherished for the sake of righteousness. Even if it means the most difficult emotions in their hearts. He buried all his helplessness and sadness in silence. He tried to pull himself together and follow God wholeheartedly. A person can only completely open up his heart to God when being alone. It’s the time he can share his feelings and burdens with God.

Today, when Dad looks back on his relationship with Gideon, He is still happy and grateful. But since Dad wanted to continue to follow God, while on the contrary Gideon was going in the opposite direction, Dad eventually had to let go of the pain and move on. There is absolutely nothing more important than his relationship with God.

A2:
The wounds will always heal with time, but the scars will remain forever. Every time when Dad thought about it, pain and helplessness arose. The pain lingered until 2015 when God began to reveal Dad’s identity without reservation. In the past, Dad was still young spiritually and had a lot of room to grow and learn. But Gideon did not focus on Dad’s shortcomings. Instead, he was very willing to help him. Dad always remembered Gideon’s acts of kindness.

B2:
Every time Dad recalled the countless precious moments he spent with Gideon, he was more confused about whether the decision to split with him was right. He also imagined that if he had the chance to meet Gideon again today, would he be able to explain and reconcile with him again? Dad really did cherish Gideon.

C2:
As the son of a pastor, I understand the situation of the protagonists in the story from my heart. They can’t ask people around them, “Can you tell me who I am?” His role, identity, and destiny are so unique. He cannot simply rely on the people around him to give him answers. For Dad, there are no predecessors to refer to when it comes to being “The One”. Likewise, for me, there is no predecessor to refer to on how to be the leader of lion cubs (the younger generation of believers).

We cannot simply copy someone else’s answers in faith. When God confirms this is a church destined to be the bridal church, we need to work independently. We need to achieve an A++ grade with our faith and conscience, and let the world follow our model. God has given me a great calling. But before shooting the movie “Reality Check”, I didn’t even know how big my future calling and mission would be. And yet, how did I manage to grow into it?

I followed my heart. Dad and spiritual elders reminded me that cherishing each message and writing testimonials to respond to the sermons and teachings are important. So I make use of the resources on hand and set up a team to help me learn Chinese and develop the habit of writing. I hope that I will be able to share and communicate with others in Chinese in the future. In this process, I follow my conscience and do the best on my part. I make the best use of God’s resources to help me accomplish my goals and ministries.

Dad was the same. If Dad hadn’t listened to the voice of his conscience, he would never have made it this far. So, it is a true hero’s story. There is never a formula or a pattern that you can copy. But Dad taught us that if we saw ourselves as heroes, we would naturally review our conscience from time to time and make one right choice after another. Imagine that there are angels and witnesses in heaven who are always watching over us. In their eyes, they also acknowledge us to be worthy of God’s blessing and being “The One” for this generation.

Therefore, as the only protagonist in his own life, Dad is the only one who is worthy of God’s blessing. Why did he have to leave and go through so much pain? In every encounter, he was tested to see if he could make the right choice. Without a blueprint in hand, he finally stepped into his calling. A true hero never relies on the advice of others. Other than you and God, no one knows what you are choosing in your heart. And only God can guide you into this calling. Even if you are alone and no one is watching you, do you know that the Lord Jesus Christ is always there for you? He is watching you make every choice so that you stay righteous and live up to God’s standard.

That’s exactly what happened to my Dad. On Day 1, when he turned into a believer, every choice he made was absolutely right in God’s eyes. This is the characteristic of a man who deserves to be the main character and be a real leader.

C3&C4:
Even when it comes to facing the “Hydrogen Peroxide Incident” and people’s doubts, Dad still stood before God. He kept his faith and dedication to God. Along the journey, he witnessed God’s endorsement of his spiritual growth and the Church of Zion he built. Dad would often ask, “Why did he find himself so different from the others when he returned to Hong Kong?” It was because no other pastor in Hong Kong was willing to pay the same price he paid and follow God with all his might.

Some people are easily attracted to money and become Balaam. Others are quickly attracted by personal glory and think they are apostles and prophets. But Dad never cared about any of these. In the process of serving God, even though Dad was desperately short of money, at times he could only share a bowl of beef brisket noodles with my mum. But he kept on giving, giving free sermon tapes, and blessing those around him.

No one wants to go down the same road as Dad. The cost is too great. They will leave their options open for the future. They are afraid of losing their earthly security, favourable conditions and personal achievement. But Dad was determined from Day 1 of his faith. He did not mind giving his life to God at all.

LP:
As long as our motive is to glorify God, even in the face of attacks and torment from others, we still stand firm. It is definitely worth it. At the end of the so-called broad road, only hell and judgment await. Life is only a tragedy. But on the narrow road of faith, it is evidently full of despair and pain, and takes much longer than others. Like the Church of Zion initially, the miracles, the system, everything were far better and beyond other churches in Hong Kong. But why was the church still growing so slowly? Why was the reputation of Zion getting worse and worse?

It turns out that everything is God’s arrangement. It is to test if we are willing to hold up the right motive to continue sharing God’s message and following Him. When we understand this, we will know that this path is worth pursuing. Because of this, Dad was happy to walk this hard and narrow road. He was willing to split with his greatest benefactor in his life for God. In the end, God was pleased to accept this heroic story as a model that all millennials must spend their lives emulating.

創作意境

有些傷口永不癒合，尤其是來自摯親好友的那些。當我們傾盡生命、氣息和力量委身事奉主時，事情總會發生。
神要求我們「自己」成為活祭，而不僅僅是犧牲身外物，就自以為盡了全力。不，聖殿外院放置銅祭壇有其目的。
我們蒙召，不單是以舊約儀式將祭牲奉獻給神，而是成為「活的祭」，捨己服侍，且領人歸向基督。如何做到這點？外院的另一件家具——洗濯盆——就是最好例子。我們要潔淨自己，正如祭司進入神同在之前所要作的。這象徵著我們須先從罪惡及污穢中得到潔淨，方能真正奉獻生命給神，在祂眼中看為聖潔。

新歌 Incision 的靈感，源自於爸爸和故友 Gideon 之間的分裂。你也許感到奇怪，這事有甚麼值得記念呢？昔日，爸爸的父母把他送到加拿大就學，目的是切斷他與基督教之間任何聯繫。然而，當他到達異國他鄉，對當地情形、文化或居民一無所知時，時任喜信會的牧師 Gideon 卻張開雙臂接納了他。他為爸爸提供了學習基督教信仰的地方，甚至是住房和衣服，沒有半點遲疑。儘管今天他倆對基督教信仰持對立的觀點，Gideon 與爸爸的關係，卻比兄弟更親近。這一點，加深了分裂對雙方造成的痛苦和傷害。爸爸當時並不確定分裂是否正確的決定，直到多年之後才釋懷，因為神親自確認爸爸和他建立的教會（錫安）為基督新婦！

爸爸一直希望有朝一日，Gideon 會明白過來，看清屬靈真相。我也堅持著這天的來臨！

Some wounds just never heal, especially those from loved ones and friends. When we commit our lives, our every breath and fiber of our being to serving the Lord, something happens. God requires us to become living sacrifices OURSELVES, not just sacrificing things we own and thinking we’ve done our best. No.There is a reason the Outer Court of the temple includes a bronze altar. We aren’t called just to sacrifice animals to God in an old-testament ritualistic manner. We are called to be LIVING sacrifices, to devote our lives to serving and bringing others to Christ.How do we do this? Another piece of furniture in the Outer Court exemplifies this best, the bronze laver. We are to cleanse ourselves as the priests did before they entered into the presence of God. This symbolizes the need for us to be cleansed from our sins, from the impurity in our lives, before we can truly devote our lives to God, holy in His sight.

I wrote the lyrics to Incision based on the split between my father and his good old friend Gideon. Why is this an event worth remembering, you may ask? My Dad was sent to Canada by his parents to cut all ties between him and Christianity. Yet when he arrived in a strange new land, with no knowledge of the place, culture or people, Gideon, then Pastor of the church of Glad Tidings, took him in with open arms. He provided my father with a place to learn about the Christian faith, even housing and clothing him, no questions asked. To this day, despite their opposing viewpoints of the Christian faith, Gideon was closer than a brother to Dad. It only made the split all the more painful and devastating for both sides.

My father would not know whether his decision was correct until years later when God personally affirmed my Dad and the church he established (Zion) as the bride of Christ! He maintains hope that one day, Gideon will understand and see the spiritual truth for what it really is. I, too, am holding out for this day!當聽完這首歌後，就好像看完一齣英雄的電影般，讓我們一起效法Aidan的爸爸——日華牧師，即使人生面對任何的艱難和衝擊，只要我們憑著良心，按著真理而行，作出無悔的決定，專一始終的跟從神，我們也能成為電影中英雄的角色！

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資料來源:
Riverflowing2012:Back to The Music 英文詩歌推介【Incision】— 英雄莫望背後